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Watchers Adaption - Changed outline

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Feb. 9th, 2008 | 04:32 pm
posted by: jeyhawk in jey_creations

Once I had the original outline I went to work on it. First up, I dont want to write a novel, so some of the elements of the original outline had to go. This is what I came up with for a first attempt. Strike through means it's getting cut, underline means it's my own addition. Italics are things from the original outline that I'm undecided about. :0)

Outline for My Watchers



1. Jared and Harley meeting Sadie. Something chasing them in the woods. Jared ex military, carries gun (Smith & Wesson 38 Chief's Special). Harley shelter dog. From Santa Barbara to Santiago Canyon. Pacific to the right. Pines.

2. Tom shooting a man (Doctor David Weatherby). Is very pleased about it. Can't be found until the following day.

3. Jared, Harley and Sadie making it to the car and escaping.


1. Jensen being accosted by the TV repairman. Mike? Story of the evil aunt. Says dad is cop. Jensen being nervous about Banodyne. Having a bad feeling about things. A little of his past history with the evil aunt revealed.

2. Tom contacting his employers. (Pacific Coast Highway) New kill. Fashion Island.

3. Jensen getting a call from the creep who cheeked out the dad story.

4. Jared washing Sadie. She proves again that she's smart. Collar suspicion.

5. Tom killing Elizabeth and David Yarbeck. Brutally.

6. Jensen has a feeling he's being watched.


1. Jared debating with Sadie whether she's something special or not. She gets him a cold beer. Making a question mark out of crackers.

2. Jensen being harassed. Doesn't think it's got anything to do with his looks. More Jensen back story.

3. Sadie making a question mark out of crackers. Moved.

4. Jensen getting more harassed. This time at night.

5. Jared telling Sadie the story of his life. The army, kicked out at twenty five, the damaged knee, the payment to keep silent.

6. Jensen getting harassed by the creep.

7. Tom getting a third assignment. Doctor Albert Hudston in Laguna Beach. Pressures the Doctor until he tells him how it all comes together. Banodyne, the Francis project, the docs. Orange County, Irvine.

8. Random old guy, in Holy Jim Canyon (south part of Orange County) getting killed by the outsider.

9. Jared going to bed. Sadie worried about the monster.


1. Jensen going out for a walk to avoid the house. Creep finds him and says he's going to move in. Jensen is accosted by a man with a gun that is trying to get him to come with somewhere.

2. Sadie (and Harley) saves Jensen from the creep. Jared takes them to the park. Gives Jensen his number. Jensen recognizes Sadie. Tells Jared to take her and run. He'll explain later. 3. Tom killing Doctor Lawton Haines.

4. Jensen thinking about buying Sadie and/or Harley. Calls Jared but chickens out. Jensen calls Jared, but chickens out before he can talk to him.

5. Sadie forces Jared to call Jensen through various and sundry means.

6. Jensen's scared of the phone.

7. Sadie decides they need to visit Jensen ASAP.

8. Creep lying on Jensen's bed.

9. Sadie, Harley and Jared saves the day. Calls cops on creep. Jared kills the hired killer out to take Jensen's life. Gives Jensen the gun tells him to say he shot the guy in self defence.


1. Tom hears about the fire at Banodyne. Thinks it would be a good idea to get hold of the dog and avoid the Outsider.

2. Creep arrested and unable to post bail. Jensen has lunch with Jared and the dogs. Jensen learns that Banodyne burned down to the ground. Fears for his life. Meets up with Jared and tells him a little about Sadie.

3. Chris and Chad NSA agents arrive at the scene of the crime. (The old guy getting killed.) Talks with the county sheriff, Steve. Marine practice, bullshit. What killed the man. National security. Steve onto the truth about Banodyne.

4. Jensen calls Jared in the middle of the night, scared that someone is trying to get inside his house. Jared takes him home.

5. Tom talking to one of his shifty contacts (Mike). Wants to have information on unusual killings etc.

6. Jared dreams about Jensen.

7. Chris visits a zoo (24th of May) where a whole bunch of animals have been killed. Partner? Holds a conference for his colleagues. (Marine Air Station in El Toro.) Moved

8. Young girl attacked. Survives?

9. Chris and Steve argue at the hospital over interviewing the girl. Steve has some theories. Chris thinks about the Outsider following the dog. Remember to mention the zoo where a bunch of animals got killed.


1. Last week of May and first week of June, Jared and Jensen hangs out all the time. Jared makes Jensen get a haircut, buys him clothes. They have dinner. Jared takes Jensen to see his aunt lawyer, who says she was a horrible person. Tells Jensen the story about the husband that let her inherit everything. Jensen shows Jared his paintings. Jensen decides on a way to communicate with Sadie. Jared takes Jensen to see his lawyer. They know they'll have to run eventually and Jared wants to make preparations. They're yet unaware of the Outsider, but Sadie is worried.

2. Two cops check out rumors about screams in a neighbourhood under construction. One of them killed, the other?

3. Second, third June. Jared and Jensen works with Sadie. Sadie shows them pictures and they try to connect. Bark for no, wag for yes. They find out Sadie ran away from a research facility.

4. Chris arrives at the scene of the killed cops, Steve upset. Chris tells him the story of the genetic research that led to the development of Sadie. The Outsider…

5. Jared and Jensen talks more with Sadie.

6. Steve POV. Chris tells the story about the Outsider and the fact that some is sabotaging the project. Possible mention that Jensen is suspected killed or has gone underground after the last attempt at his life.

7. Jared and Jensen talks about Sadie's future.

8. The Outsider left one of the policemen's head for Chris. Eyes missing. Thinks it's ugly, horrendous. Steve thinks it truly feels as an Outsider.


1. The rest of June. Jensen paints and teaches Sadie to read. Jared kindly mocks. In a roundabout way Jensen takes up his research and starts teaching Sadie to read. Jared worries a little that his interest in Sadie is mainly scientific.

2. Summer passes. Sadie learns to read. Jensen won't have to appear in court. Sadie tells them about the Outsider.

3. 15th of July. Chris hasn't heard anything from the outsider in a long while. New killings. They find a cave where the Outsider's been living for a long time. Mickey Mouse connection. Only happy thing that happened in captivity.

4. 1st of August Jensen sells all of his aunts old furniture. Thinks about his new life. Plays scrabble with Jared and jokes around. They profess their love. Decides to take a road trip. Something makes them decide it's time to take a trip, maybe they go out for the night and when they come back the house is torn to shreds and someone is dead inside. The Outsider found them. Jared goes up against it, and they manage to escape.
5. Tom kills some anonymous roach and we get some news on what he knows. He's patient enough.

6. Jared wants Sadie to get her shots. They find her tattoo. They visit the lawyer again who's been checking up on Jared. They take off for Vegas to get married. Erotic energy, lots of kissing. Sex.They get back home and the Outsider tore Jared's house to shreds.

7. Jared goes up against the Outsider in the house. Neighbour/someone else killed in the house. Makes it okay, but they have to take off.

8. Jared and Jensen visits Jeff (the lawyer) that cares for them and helps them runaway. They visit the lawyer to set about liquidating their assets.

9. They take off towards parts unknown.

10. Chris and partner goes through Jared's house. Delta Force. They find pics of Jensen and wonders if he was in on it all along.

11. Jared and Jensen get to San Francisco where Jared gets them new identities. Jensen upset about the porn. Very naïve. Jensen is a bit upset about his new persona. When he's no longer a doctor he doesn't know who he is.

12. Tom gets whiff of Jared and Jensen.

13. Jared comes up with a way to really communicate with Sadie by using Scrabble letters. Sadie tells them about Banodyne, the scientists and the Outsider. Sadie tells them full story about the Outsider.



1. (21st of October)Jared and Jensen settle down in a house somewhere closer to Santa Barbara than they intended. (Carmel) They created a fort, wanting a confrontation with the outsider. Pining for each other. Jared is still slightly worried that Jensen wants to do some sort of huge thing on Sadie.

2. Tom still tries to find Jared and Jensen. Has a conference with a Don.

3. Thanksgiving. Sadie coughs and sneezes a little. They're not worried.

4. Chris is tracking Jared and Jensen through Jensen's lawyer. He finds the connection through the arrest of the creep. Goes looking for Jensen finds that he's done a disappearing act too. Chris tries to track down Jared and Jensen through Jeff, who's not about to start talking any time soon.

5. Sadie still a bit sick.

6. Jeff meets with his mistress, tells her a long story. Chris is tracking Jeff's every move. Jeff and mistress tries to get away. Jared worried about Sadie. Jensen's paintings arrive. Jeff sneaks away from cops. Chris is very pissed. Jared questions Sadie about being sick. Chris almost gets to Jeff. Jensen talks about calling Jeff. Jeff calls them. Chris mightily pissed. Jeff shows up like nothing happened. Chris stomach hurts. Thinks about loyalty. Steve. ;0) Jeff manages to get away from the NSA agents following him and calls Jared and Jensen from someone's house. Chris is amazed by the loyalty the dog inspires. Thinks about his own life.


1. Sadie very sick in the middle of the night.

2. Sadie at the vets. Valpsjuka. Second stage brain damage? Jared and Jensen help out at the vets. Why is Jared called Jared when his name is Sam? Sadie gets worse. Cramps. J2 help the vet out again. Keeps watch over Sadie. Harley heartbroken. Sadie wakes up. They try talking to her, but she doesn't respond. How long? Weeks, maybe months. Bobby tells them he knows that Sadie is wanted. Cancer research. They tell him the truth. Sadie still smart. Bobby happy. The boys have sex for the first time. Jared's no longer worried that Jensen cares only for the results. Realizes that Sadie was the closest to a friend Jensen had during his lonely years.


1. They get back home. Bobby doesn't want to let them go. Sadie is all worried. Can no longer feel the Outsider for real.

2. Sadie getting better. Bobby comes for a visit. Thinks he can remove Sadie's tattoo. Sadie feels a great darkness.

3. Christmas. Good times to be had by all. Bobby visits with his dog.

4. Tom manages to track them down through the Don and the guy who forged their papers.

5. Tom finds Jensen. Threatens to kill him. Wants the dog. Tells Jensen the whole story. Sadie upset. Jared baking cookies. Jensen gets his chance and tries to kill Tom. Jared shot. Jared kills Tom. Jensen patches him up. Outsider arrives, almost kills Sadie. Jared and Jensen argues about who stays with him. Jared chases after the Outsider. Kills it.


1. Chris visits Jared and Jensen. Jared tells the story. Shows the Outsider. Won't tell them where Sadie is buried. Jeff and Bobby… ;0)

2. Chris and Steve talks about the dog that they think Jared and Jensen are harbouring. They got their happy ever after.

3. A few years later. Harley and Sadie have special puppies. :0P Jared and Jensen are happy. Adopted. :0)

So what are the main changes? Well for one I've made Jensen a scientist at Banodyne so he already knows about Sadie and how special she is. Partly because I didn't want the original storyline and partly because I needed someone in the know once I cut the killer out. He'll still be there, but his storyline just won't be written out.

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Comments {1}

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from: realscape
date: Feb. 10th, 2008 09:33 pm (UTC)

Ok. I love your creative process. mine stays in my brain until I can write it out. Dreams can be hell. lol. I can't be as organised. I'm really jealous. I enjoy Dean Koontz stories. They're not great literature, but they're very enjoyable. And he has the same view I have. That dogs are far greater, more intelligent. loyal and loving, than we ever give them credit for. It's kind of hard for me to deal with that at the moment, though. But I look forward to the fic. Just don't kill any dogs. I don't care about the people (well maybe apart from j2!)

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